The Emotionally Intelligent Versions of Every Personality Type

Some people equate emotional intelligence with personality type. But is this really the right thing to do? Are certain types more emotionally intelligent than others?

PsychologyToday.com describes emotional intelligence as “the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.” The web site goes on to state that “Emotional intelligence is generally said to include a few skills: namely emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others do the same.”

People with high EQ (Emotional Quotient) aren’t impulsive, hasty, or over-reactive. They’re able to regulate their emotions, name them, and process them rationally. They don’t downplay the importance of emotions, nor do they let their emotions control them. They are self-aware and reflective.

Estimated reading time: 19 minutes

The short answer is no. Any type can be emotionally intelligent or unintelligent. Healthy Feeling Judgers are naturally skilled at identifying other people’s emotions; yet they can sometimes struggle to understand their own. Healthy Thinking types are good at problem solving but they can also minimize the importance of their own (or others) emotions. Each type has its own potential weaknesses and strengths when it comes to emotional intelligence. We’re going to look at this more in today’s article.

The emotionally intelligent ENFP is able to see emotions from many different angles and perspectives. They are gifted at detecting nonverbal emotional signals such as body language and facial expressions. It’s also easy for them to see how people all experience many varied emotional reactions to the same stimuli – they don’t expect everyone to have the same emotional reaction as they do. These healthy ENFPs take time for self-reflection, introspection, and self-care. When they spend regular time alone they can delve into Introverted Feeling, their auxiliary function. During these times they assess whether they’re living according to their values, and they dig into their emotions to see if there may be any underlying lessons, values, or issues that they those emotions are trying to bring to the surface.

– Can explore emotions from many different angles– Can empathize with a wide variety of emotions– Can generate multiple avenues for dealing with/processing emotions– Can use emotions to creatively pursue various artistic pathways– Are skilled at creating a collaborative, accepting environment– Can often motivate other effectively by harnessing emotions and using them as fuel for progress

Read this next: Dealing with Emotional Overwhelm as an ENFP

ENTPs are able to easily read other people’s emotional signals like body language, expressions, and subtle cues. While it can be easy for average to unhealthy ENTPs to use this emotional awareness to manipulate or charm people, the healthy ENTP uses this ability to connect with and help others. These ENTPs pay attention to their emotions, using them to stir cognitive activity and thinking. Is the emotion accurate? Is it driven by a deeper, more ego-driven impulse? They are good at pausing and interpreting an emotion before giving into it. Often times they have to externalize the emotion in order to understand it thoroughly. This can be done through writing the emotions down or expressing them to a confidante. Through externalizing their feelings, they can piece together which emotions are important and valid and which are irrational or ego-driven. Healthy ENTPs can be deeply empathetic and astute when it comes to “reading” the emotional experiences of others.

– Can often read the emotions of others and accurately identify them– Can motivate and encourage others by harnessing their emotions effectively– Are good at verbally sorting out emotions to determine which are accurate and which are irrational– Can be diplomatic when needed (if healthy)– Are skilled at self-regulating and thinking through emotions before acting on them– Can generate possibilities for dealing with emotions– Don’t quickly blame others when something goes wrong

The emotionally intelligent INFP is thoughtful and considerate, taking time to thoroughly process emotional data. This INFP tends to respond to life slowly, but in a good way. They probe the depths of their souls to understand what their emotions mean in the grand scheme of things. They realize that emotions are deeply personal and nuanced, thus they are slow to make rapid judgments about people and what they need emotionally. Their open-mindedness and imagination enable them to easily get in other people’s shoes and mirror their emotions. They have a gift for helping people put words to their feelings. Creating an atmosphere of emotional safety is also something they’re good at. Creating a warm, accepting environment for others to express themselves without fear of shame is something they prioritize. When an interpersonal problem arises, these INFPs can have uncomfortable conversations in a tactful and empathetic way. Building psychological safety in teams or one-on-one settings is something they excel at.

– Mirror and identify other people’s emotions– are self-aware of their own emotions and accurately identify them– Communicate tactfully and diplomatically– Use imagination to solve emotional issues– Create a safe space for emotional expression– Reflect on emotions before acting on them– Know their own values, and thus which emotions are worth prioritizing or downgrading.– Don’t quickly blame others when something goes wrong– Easily put themselves in other people’s shoes

Read this next: Dealing with Emotional Overwhelm as an INFP

Emotionally intelligent INTPs have a lot of self-control when it comes to their feelings. They’re not the types to fly off the handle or make sweeping, generalized statements because they’re having a bad day. Instead, they analyze their own and others’ emotions in order to find the underlying causes and separate what’s rational from what is irrational. This ability allows them to enter emotionally chaotic situations with a level head, seeing the emotions of the room as data to be interpreted rather than stormy feelings that can toss and turn them whichever way they choose. They can be a quiet, rational presence for people who are struggling emotionally; validating their feelings while offering alternatives and other perspectives that might alter the situation. These INTPs take time to put themselves in others’ positions before making rapid judgments about them.

– Exert willpower and self-control over emotions rather than impulsively giving into them– Think independently rather than being swayed by the emotions of others– Try to put themselves in others’ positions before making judgments– Generate alternatives and possibilities to solve conflicts– Identify the underlying facets involved in an emotional experience– Tend to stay calm in challenging situations

Read this next: 10 Things That Terrify INTPs

Emotionally intelligent ENFJs have a powerful ability to recognize and empathize with a wide variety of emotional experiences. Reading the emotional atmosphere is something that comes naturally to them, and they can easily orchestrate warm, inviting environments so that people feel safe expressing themselves. These ENFJs enjoy being counselors, mentors, and listening ears and are often sought out when someone is going through a hard time. Inspiring others and encouraging them is something that comes naturally. Diplomacy and tact also come naturally to this ENFJ, and they often think about what they say and how it will impact people before they say it. When it comes to their own emotions, healthy ENFJs usually need an external way to process before they can accurately identify what they’re feeling and trust it. Because of this they often enjoy journaling or having a trusted confidante to talk to in order to sort out which of their own feelings are accurate, and which might be irrational. These ENFJs usually have strong social skills because they are so tapped into the emotional temperature of whatever environment they are in and know what things will motivate or demotivate people.

Emotionally intelligent ENTJs seek out strategies and frameworks for understanding people and interacting with them effectively. They use communication as a tool and know that empathy is a vital part of effective communication. Getting a gist of someone’s ideas, expertise, or overall values is something that these ENTJs excel at. Most average ENTJs tend to move through life without a lot of concern for their own emotions (or the emotions of others). But emotionally intelligent ENTJs know that if they dismiss their own (or others) emotions, it will backfire in the long run. They take the time to identify their own emotions, slowing down their work and interactions to make sure there isn’t an emotion trying to get their attention and alert them to something important. They know that the best way to understand other people is to actively listen and pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and comfort levels. They can be highly motivational in conflicts or emotional struggles, helping people to see the big picture or unique insights into various challenges.

Emotionally intelligent INFJs want to relate to people in meaningful ways. Empathy comes easily to these types, and they naturally put themselves in other people’s shoes. It’s usually natural for them to sense what other people are feeling and accurately identify those feelings. At the same time, it can be a struggle for them to accurately name their own emotions unless they have a way to externalize those feelings through writing them down or expressing them out loud. Emotionally intelligent INFJs take time to jot down their feelings or express them so that they can be self-aware and effective. They often pause to assess how their moods are affecting them and their decisions. Rash, impulsive decision-making isn’t usually something they struggle with unless they are dealing with severe or chronic stress. Instead, they usually listen to their feelings and self-regulate, focusing on what’s accurate as well as what aligns with their values. Tactfully and diplomatically dealing with others, particularly in conflict, is something that INFJs excel at. They can easily see two sides to any story and are able to help people in conflict see where their values align or how they are just seeing the same thing from two different perspectives.

Read this next: How to Honor Your Inner Child as an INFJ

Emotionally intelligent INTJs know what’s important to them and don’t allow minor distractions and irritants to emotionally overwhelm them. They can usually identify their feelings and strategize ways to honor those feelings while still staying aligned with their goals. When it comes to relating to others, these INTJs have usually developed frameworks for understanding people and relating to them effectively. It’s easy for them to sense when people are being authentic or manipulative and they aren’t easily controlled by others’ emotions or manipulated emotionally. When it comes to giving and accepting critique, INTJs can usually do so with a level head and without reacting emotionally. They find ways to tailor critiques so that they can be the most effective, and this means being tactful and considerate rather than brash or harsh. When emotionally upset, these INTJs pause and control their thoughts before reacting – trying to sort out if their emotions are valid or simply an ego-defensive mechanism.

Emotionally intelligent ESFPs have a grounded sense of knowing; knowing about people, knowing about life itself, and what’s real and meaningful. They see the beauty in the present and enjoy sharing that with others. They easily can sense what people are feeling and have the skill of being able to “read the room.” Listening to other people share their emotional highs and lows is something they do well, although it may take a little more nudging to get them to share their own feelings. These types only share their deepest emotions with those who they know they can trust through hard times and good. ESFPs who are emotionally intelligent think about their feelings, and take time to get alone and process them in private. They pause before jumping into action or retorts, assessing what’s really true or authentic or meaningful to them. They’re also not easily swayed by “emotional hijacks” or people who would manipulate them. Their feeling side makes them keenly attuned to inauthentic remarks or ulterior motives. Relationships that matter to them are ones where they can be honest, real, and without pretense.

ESTPs who are skilled in emotional intelligence know how to read other people’s feelings and moods and respond in an appropriate way. They are often more caring and insightful than typical type descriptions would imply. They’re also practical and know listening is only part of the equation in helping people. ESTPs are people of action, thus they enjoy helping people in tangible, hands-on ways. In fact, they’re often the first to help out in a crisis or volunteer a helping hand to someone who’s lost or hurt. Although ESTPs are thinkers first, they have a softer inner core. These types enjoy caring, warm relationships and interactions as long as there’s not a lot of emotional hypersensitivity involved. They often benefit from writing out their feelings or discussing them in a safe environment. Inward emotional analysis can be a bit overwhelming for them, but they do the hard work to make sure they’re being authentic and self-aware.

Emotionally intelligent ISFPs are deeply self-aware and recognize the power of their own emotions. They know that while others might disparage the value of emotions, they are what drive us to make decisions about careers, love, art, and so much more. Because ISFPs respect emotions, they take the time to listen to them and parse them out without simply acting on them full-speed ahead. Quiet reflection and introspection help them to evaluate what’s important to them and to see what lessons can be learned from all their emotional experiences, both good and bad. ISFPs with high EQ have no problem apologizing when they are wrong, forgiving when a relationship has potential, and keeping their commitments. They realize that everyone’s journey is different and are open-minded to individuals from many varied walks of life.

Read this next: 10 Things That Excite the ISFP

Emotionally intelligent ISTPs are quiet and thoughtful, observing people and situations carefully. They realize there’s more than one way of seeing something and pause before making judgments about people’s values or ethics. They learn from their mistakes, avoid half-truths, and present information clearly without manipulation or guile. They say what they mean, mean what they say, and stick to their principles. Instead of labeling others or gossiping about them, ISTPs work hard to see things through another person’s point of view. They’re also aware when people are using manipulation and are quick to avoid manipulators and emotional “hijacks.”

Read this next: 12 Amazing Fictional ISTPs

Emotionally intelligent ESFJs are highly self-aware and can name and identify their emotions with powerful language. They have a wide emotional vocabulary and are skilled at recognizing their moods as well as the emotions of others. At the same time, they know when to pause and reflect on their feelings and when something should be addressed right away. Unhealthy ESFJs may blurt out their feelings or react to them prematurely, but ESFJs with high EQ know when it’s time to slow down and ponder the weight and accuracy of what they’re feeling first. They do their best to control their emotional responses (like negative self-talk or over-reactions) and think about the best way forward first. They are also deeply empathetic and know how to imagine things from another person’s perspective and respond accordingly. These types are often nurturing and comforting people to be around, especially to those who are going through a personal crisis.

ESTJs with high emotional intelligence know how to pause before making premature judgments about others. They evaluate situations, historical context, and facts before offering their advice or opinion. They also take time to get in touch with their feelings or seek advice when their emotions feel out of control. Unlike unhealthy ESTJ, healthy ESTJs know that emotions have weight and if they’re ignored or repressed for too long they can bubble up in unhealthy reactions. These ESTJs are self-aware, supportive, and responsible. They take accountability for their mistakes and don’t hesitate to apologize when they’re wrong. They are open to constructive criticism, and know how to frame criticism to others without being harsh or condescending.  Helping and supporting others in practical ways is how they show their empathy and concern. They’re also good at stepping outside a situation and seeing the facts without getting emotionally reactive or hypersensitive.

Gentle and nurturing, these ISFJs know how to pause and reflect on their feelings regularly. They’re not reactive or selfish, but focused on helping others in the ways that are best for them. They have a knack for listening and supporting others without redirecting the conversation back to themselves. They also don’t go so far in supporting others that they lose track of their own needs. Having healthy boundaries in place helps them to avoid codependency or self-neglect. ISFJs with high EQ are empathetic, self-aware, and sincere. They seem to inherently know what will put others’ at ease; whether it’s a warm blanket, a cup of coffee, or just a calm, quiet presence. Because these types are introverted, it’s important that they get regular time alone to process their feelings, rest, and refresh themselves. If they spend too much time around others they can wind up overexerting themselves and getting exhausted.

Read this next: 24 Signs That You’re an ISFJ

ISTJs with high emotional intelligence know that there is more than one way of seeing a situation. They have a calm, thoughtful demeanor and observe situations before jumping in and making judgments. People come to them for practical support or guidance in situations. They know that this ISTJ will carefully assess the facts and history of a situation before giving advice. While these types may not exude gregariousness or warmth all the time, their steadiness and careful nature inspire confidence in others. While they may not talk about their feelings a lot, they take time to think them through and ponder their meaning. They also know how to follow through on their commitments and take responsibility for their mistakes. Humility makes it possible for them to learn from others, apologize when they’re wrong, and give constructive criticism without being condescending or harsh about it.

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